Hi everyone!!
So I am sitting at home in Baroda having nothing worthwhile to do. Believe me there's not much to do when you are living on the outskirts of the city, with no transport facilities, near a railway crossing on which a train screams by every 20 minutes. One would say that with your laptop, your mobile, some music and the television to give you company how can one feel like the world is coming to an end. But that's how it is!
Living away from home has its advantages and disadvantages. So while studying in Mumbai, I always thought that not having a television in your room is a big disadvantage. That was before I came here for my holidays and realised how wrong I was. Here I start my day at 10.30 by dragging myself out of bed (by 10.45 I am wondering why DID I drag myself out of bed.) After having my breakfast at 12 and going through the day's newspaper, I relax myself on the couch and turn on the television.
Here's how my next hour goes by...
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An "entertainment" channel which my mother was watching last night turns up on the screen. And the next thing I am feeling is a sense of déjà-vu. Dint I see this girl crying in a similar manner just yesterday and even the previous night during dinner. What on earth could have happened that could make this girl cry for 2 days in a row? I ask my mother about this and she compassionately replies that there has been a misunderstanding between her and her husband. I wait for the girl to go and speak to her husband about it, but she remains sitting there in that position for the next 15 minutes while the camera alternates between showing her crying and her husband staring out of the window with a very thoughtful look on his face. Confused myself, I change the channel.
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Up comes a Hindi news channel. And it has a breaking news flashing at the bottom of the screen. I read it and am shocked. "Osama captured". On the screen you see the most unlikely image of Osama bin laden. The image shows a man with a beard shorter than that of Osama wearing a white turban but with no resemblance to the most wanted man whatsoever. In the background you hear the news reader saying that this image was captured somewhere in a remote corner of some middle east country and then she goes on about how Osama would look exactly like the man in this picture if he trimmed his beard. For the next half an hour, the news reader is heard repeating the same thing again and again, while the images on the screen too are being played in a loop. In between, there present in the studio is an "expert" who is giving his views on "the breaking news" whole heartedly. Not bothering to listen to what the expert has to say I switch the channel.
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Another news channel. If a particular news is considered as breaking news....you would expect it to be shown on all the channels, but this time there is a special show going on about some special day in the Hindu calendar(according to these channels the Hindu calendar keeps throwing such days every now and then). Here too is an expert going on about what precautions should be taken to save yourself from "rahu ka prabhav". The expert very dramatically explains how the position of 'rahu' in the 'kundali' of all people with a particular sun sign can have serious consequences if these precautions are not taken. The channel also uses a lot of graphics to show the kundali and the planetary movements in that kundali. The solution goes something like this...firstly bathe yourself with some sacred water. Then offer some more of this sacred water to the sun. After that light a diya and place it in the southwest corner of your house while the flame should be towards the north. Offer a coconut, some fruits and other eatables to a cow and then take three rounds of a very old banyan tree after lighting another diya and placing it in the south...no...Northwest....hell...some direction with respect to the tree. Listening to this I wonder whether it would be easier to face the problems caused by the almighty 'rahu'. Now I am really not into this astrological stuff....but can someone explain to me what has the sun, the diya, the banyan tree, and the poor old cow got to do with my being born on a certain date and at a certain time!!! Throw in some puppets and a fire-place and you have your own centre of black-magic to be performed and experimented with. So feeling scared that we are one step away from turning ourselves into madmen I again reach out for the remote.
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Well I am sure you guys would be expecting this one. A reality show!!! Please pray to god that none of the guys writing the script for the reality shows get to write one for a feature film...or else my last hope for entertainment will also be destroyed. In this reality show you see one of the music directors (who is a horrible actor) locking his horns with one of the singers (who is a horrible... person). You can't mistake the anger in his voice and his words even though he tries his best to keep a straight face. The singer, having cried during the previous episode of the show for still-undetected-reasons, seems pretty cocky today and is intent on indirectly antagonizing the music director by passing acrid comments on his candidate. This reminds me of one of my friends getting excited about this reality show and declaring that "this is not a competition to select the best singer but a war between the egos of the judges". Earlier the battle was only between the judges of the show or the family of the contestants, but now I see that the contestants too are engaged in an epic battle and are attacking each other with hostile words and comments. Tired of listening to all the beeps I go again...
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Ah! A detective series!!! There has been a murder in a closed room with the victim and another person inside it. Earlier the victim had received a withered human hand for a birthday gift. The team solving the case is divided into groups and sent to perform different tasks. One team goes to the house of a suspect and finds it empty.
Fredrick: Sir, saara ghar chaan mara par kuch nahi mila!!!Bas ek room bacha hai jo locked hai.
ACP Pradyumn: Hmmm!!!Jaroor is kamare ke andar koi raaz chupa hai. Daya, darwaza tod dalo.
Obviously the remaining dead body is found buried inside the room. After revelations by the dedicated scientist, an unknown shopkeeper, and other family members of the victim, the criminal is identified.
But the criminal still has guts remaining to try and escape. This calls for some running about. Thought in the end the criminal is caught, he is still not ready to take the blame. The burden again falls on the guy named 'Daya' to silence the screaming guy with a whip of his hand...and in the next scene you see the guy crying his heart out to the team.
"Main kya karta sir...woh mujhe chod ke jaa chuki this...main use bohot pyaar karta tha sir..."
After noticing for a few days I realise that the episode always ends with ACP Pradyumn having the last laugh...in this case the last dialogue
"Tumne 2-2 khoon kiye hai. Tumhe phaasi to ho kar rahegi!!!"
Ok I admit...this was a little entertaining!!!
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Katrina is dancing under a waterfall in a saree....phew!!! Why has this winter season turned suddenly hot? Can't stop staring...damn it. Ok maybe I'll go through all other channels and then come back to this one.
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Going through all the channels, you will observe a general trend. The soaps are all centred around the idea of a helpless woman. Nowadays, the woman is shown to have different drawbacks....she maybe discriminated because of her colour or maybe because she is poor. But the central idea is that none of them have the courage to stand up and speak up for themselves or to clear out the misunderstandings created...which is definitely not the case in the real world!!! Whereas the news channel have taken a pledge to sensationalise the tiniest and most insignificant bit of information to increase the TRPs. Where else would a 24 hr news channel use all the 24 hrs to broadcast one single debate between an astrologer and a scientist that takes place inside their own studio. What started out as a general discussion before the solar eclipse this year, turned into "the biggest debate of all times"!!! On the other hand the reality shows are crafted out in such a way that not one episode is shot without a good entertaining fight in it. That's all there is to it. You create some sensation, blow some action and display some emotion(in this case it is just about crying though) and you are a hit in the telly world of India.
Switching off the television I am thinking whether the television fraternity assumes we like this kind of stuff or do we really like this kind of stuff!!! Well I, for one, definitely hate this kind of stuff.....what about you???
So then I grab a kite and run up the stairs, just to have something better to do. In Baroda, staying inside during Uttarayan is not a very good idea. Even then, after trying for 1 hr when I failed to get my kite even a few metres above the ground...I had to get back. Better to sit and play some games...oh I did have some races to finish in NFS!!!
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